Many people think that dating right after (or even before or during) a divorce can help erase your feelings of pain and loneliness. This isn’t always true. If you’re going through a divorce you should take some time off to heal, think about how you should handle the next relationship, and not jump into a rebound relationship that will just leave you feeling worse. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re eager to date any woman who has a pulse just so you can get over your ex.
1. Divorced men who date too soon may find that they choose a woman either exactly like their ex or the complete opposite, hoping it will help to get over her. Of course, this won’t happen because every woman is different. You can’t and shouldn’t use someone else to work through your issues. You need to sit down and be honest with yourself. What were the good and bad parts about your marriage? What do you want more of and less of in your next relationship? Where do you need to make personal changes?
2. You’re lonely and probably want to be intimate since you haven’t had sex for a long time. Allowing your emotions and hormones to choose your next partner is a huge mistake. When you’re in this mode you can’t think clearly and could end up with more problems than you can handle at this time. If you get lonely call or hang out with a friend, sign up for a class at your local community college, or work out at the gym. The negative feelings will pass.
3. You may use bad judgment and sleep around too much. Okay, you may be thinking there’s nothing wrong with that, especially after your cold and painful marriage, but being indiscriminate and getting women into bed won’t solve anything. Sure, you probably feel this will soothe your wounded ego, make you feel more like a man, and in some small way get back at your ex. But you also risk some serious sexually transmitted diseases, one or more of the women getting hooked on you and maybe even stalking you, and you aren’t working through any of your issues.
It’s never a wise idea to date too soon after your divorce. How long you wait is up to you, but a good rule of thumb is six months to one year. This gives you plenty of time to clear your head, calm your emotions, and get your life where you want it to be so you don’t end up in another negative relationship.
- Post-Divorce Dating Tips
- Dating After A Divorce
- Divorce – Is It The Logical Thing To Do?
- Should You Get A Divorce?
- Dating After Divorce – Tricks Kids Play To Break You Up